I returned home from Russia with a colorful range of mixed feelings: happiness, excitement, fear, relief, sadness, love, pain, pride, shame, remembrance and hope. I was so happy to finally see and hug my aging parents again, but I felt shame that I wont be able to spend every minute of my life with them. I also felt fear to have to leave them again and at the same time I experienced an elevation of the deep LOVE I feel for them. I started to think creatively of how I can improve their lives and make any transitions easier. How I can maintain their health for as long as possible. At the same time I missed painting and my art friends, who have become like a second family to me.
I now know one thing for sure, at this moment my parents are the most important people in my life and I want to protect them and make their lives as comfortable as possible. I'm so relieved to have been able to arrange the care-giving and I will go back to Russia in 6 months to make sure my parents are happy with that arrangement. I'm now so incredibly happy to be home, to see my friends and students, to start creating, painting and thinking like an artist again. Finally I'm back home.
Home Sweet Home!!!!